1,000 Kung-Fu Maniacs

Who didn’t like cheesy, over the top Kung-Fu flicks in the 80′s? Well we at CIA sure did and we still like them today, so what would be more fun than to review a cheesy, over the top, C64 Kung-Fu game released in 2011? This time the review is a collab from all of us, I was just forced to write this down you see ;-) The story that comes with the game already prepares for what you can expect in the game. I mean…

You’ve heard of Karate, Kickboxing, Judo, Ultimate Fighting, Soccer Fan. But few have heard of the ART OF AWESOME … Or its supreme champion, the MASTER OF AWESOME. We could go into the details of awesome, and how the master gained his rank by defeating the LORD OF THE BLAND in an epic showdown… But frankly there is not enough space on this booklet. So let’s get on with the plot. Ahem!

And no, we will *not* get started on the word now… okay, a tiny bit… WOOHOO! HE SAID AWESOME!!! *ahem* Sorry for that.
As always let’s have a look at some moving pictures of the game :

When you start the game, a little boy asks you to retrieve his toy robot back from the ‘mean boys from Blapsville’. So you start your journey travelling to the left (yep, you read it right… I mean left… you know). Of course this is a beat ‘em up, can’t be much else with the name anyway. After you finished your first few ninja-esque enemies (and stumbled over an unavoidable banana, grrrr), you set off for a short skateboard sequence. That’s right, you fight ninja riding skateboarders… on a skateboard (style kudos for that ;-) ). After you get off the skateboard, you head over to a golf course and the next type of ninja flings golfballs with his club at you. You should get the idea by now :-D
Right, now we have a little problem here at CIA. The game is made in SEUCK, so there are some limitations to what you can achieve with the engine. From a SEUCK point of view the game is quite impressive, but there are things that aren’t that great. You always head left, so if you want to turn around to fight enemies in your back, you have to keep pressing right to face that way. Often enough one of us forgot about that and was literally stabbed in the back. You also can’t jump or move up & down inside the scenery. You’re basically stuck on a rail, moving forwards and backwards. However, the game hides its shoot ‘em up origins pretty cleverly and it’s just fun to see what’s coming next, so we should just move on now ;-)
The soundtrack of the game is great. Full stop :-) We could go on about the nice Eastern theme of the tracks, but we decided to let you find out on your own. Also the graphics are really well drawn. Those little ninjas, clowns, and other nasties just have the right theme and are craftily pixeled. The backgrounds, with their funny writings and other details, fit in the mood of the game and while you would like to see one or two colours more on the screen, it kinda adds to the distinctive look of each level.
There are three other titles packed with the game. They go by the names ‘Blueberries’, ‘Blueberries II’, and ‘Stone Age Fighter’. The Blueberry series can’t deny the fact that certain well known TV turtles had a heavy influence on the game theme ;-) You vertically fight your way through quite well designed city screens. Solid action titles we’d say. Stone Age Fighter is the caveman’s Space Invaders. You throw rocks and axes at masses of enemies dropping in from above in this non-scrolling arcade game. Since this one is just an added bonus game and it’s quite fun to play for a few minutes, we won’t comment on the presentation ;-)
Okay, you get all this for free when you play it in an emulator or for a very little price, basically covering the copy costs, for the real deal. Altogether you get 4 games and let’s say at least three of them offer a good amount of fun when playing them ;-) The main title isn’t flawless, but the ideas are fresh and you will chuckle quite a bit while trashing some ninjas. Have a look in your favourite C64 emu if you’re interested and maybe you decide to spend the odd 4 or 5 quid for a disk or tape to play it on the real deal :-)

You can find the download and the version to buy on the Psytronik website.

Enjoy Life, be kind to others.

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